With heavy hearts

This has been a very trying 5 weeks.  So many emotions and so little we could do.  On 1 Jan our country choose to close their doors to Americans. This is why I have been in a daze for many weeks.  I have forgotten many things, committed to things and forgot about them.  The house has not run well since then also, laundry piled up and flours unvacuumed. We had hoped it was a temporary, maybe lasting a month, but as time went on we realized this was not going to change.  We still had hope, we new as long as our agency was willing to fight for us, we had a chance, a small chance but a chance.  On Tuesday (7 Feb) we received an email from our agency, stating that they will no longer be working in country.  This is very sad, we figured we had a chance as long as we had our agency, but with out them we have nothing. What this means, we will not be able to get our sweet Mika.  Even though we had not met her, we feel she is our daughter.  Our girls feel she is their sister.  We have purchased things over the past few months for her.  She will always be our little girl.  Sadly and with heavy hearts, we no long can pursue our little girl.  So, we cope with the loose and know that this is all Gods will. 

What next?  We have a completed home study, an approved USCIS, and even grant money.  We feel that God would not have given this to us unless He intended us to use it.  So, we will press forward. We are going to continue the adoption process in another country.  We had intended to adopt two children, we just never expected to do it in this order. What will make this time different?  We intend to pursue a special needs child, but this time we do not intend to find her on a photo list. We will leave this completely in God’s hands.  We are going to wait to receive a referral.

Does this mean we are going to forget Mika?  Absolutely not.  Does this mean we do not want her to be adopted? Absolutely not.  Canada can still adopt from country so there is a chance she could still be adopted. And we will do everything in our power to advocate for that.  If she is not adopted, and when the country reopens, we will start the process again and work to adopt her.  Whomever the family is, she will be adopted.  We will pray ever day that He protects her until that day comes.